My lovely readers, 
After a longer break while focusing on the rehabilitation of my knee, I’m delighted to be back writing to you again. Thank you for your patience and for continuing to be part of this wonderful community.
Lately, I’ve found myself reflecting on something that seems to touch so many areas of life.
Every day, whether we realise it or not, we are surrounded by messages telling us that we should be different. Eat better. Exercise more. Be more productive. Lose weight. Be calmer. Be more successful. Become a better version of yourself.
At first glance, these messages seem positive. After all, growth is a beautiful thing. Most of us want to learn, develop, improve our health, deepen our relationships, and live more fulfilling lives.
Yet somewhere along the way, many of us quietly absorb a different message. A message that sounds something like this:
“Who I am right now is not enough.”
And once that belief takes root, we begin searching. Perhaps it’s the next diet. The next self-help book. The next course. The next achievement. The next relationship. The next version of ourselves.
We tell ourselves that once we lose the weight, get the promotion, organise our lives, heal the emotional wound, or finally reach that elusive goal, then we will feel whole.
But for many people, that feeling remains frustratingly out of reach.
What if the problem isn’t that we need fixing?
What if the problem is that we spend so much time trying to change ourselves that we forget to understand ourselves?
As both a therapist and a Wildfit coach, I often notice that beneath people’s struggles there is usually a deeper question waiting to be heard.
The craving for sugar may not only be about sugar. The exhaustion may not only be about sleep. The anxiety may not only be about the future. The feeling of being stuck may not only be about motivation.
Sometimes these experiences are messengers. Sometimes they are invitations to pause and listen.
Instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this?”, perhaps the more helpful question is: “What is this trying to tell me?” “What do I need right now?” “What am I longing for?”
When we start asking those questions, something shifts. We move away from criticism and towards curiosity.
Instead of standing opposite ourselves as though we are a problem to be solved, we begin standing beside ourselves with compassion and interest.
Over the years, I have seen many people discover that what looked like a lack of willpower was actually exhaustion. What looked like emotional eating was loneliness. What looked like procrastination was fear. What looked like self-sabotage was often a nervous system trying its best to stay safe.
This doesn’t mean we stop growing or striving towards change. Quite the opposite. Some of the most meaningful transformations happen when we stop fighting ourselves.
Because sustainable change rarely grows from shame.
It grows from understanding. It grows from self-awareness. It grows from learning to listen to ourselves with honesty, kindness, and curiosity.
And perhaps that is one of the greatest challenges of modern life: to continue growing without constantly believing we need fixing. To pursue health without becoming trapped by perfection. To improve ourselves whilst also accepting ourselves.
To remember that we are human beings, not projects.
At the end of the day, there is one thing that unites us all: we are all imperfect. We all make mistakes. We all carry struggles that others may never see. We are all, in our own way, learning as we go.
Perhaps that is not a flaw in being human.
Perhaps that is precisely what it means to be human.
As Carl Jung beautifully said:
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
So today, I leave you with these questions:
What if there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you?
If you stopped trying to fix yourself for a moment, what might you discover about yourself instead?
Have you ever had a moment when curiosity helped you more than criticism?
With wild love,
Maxi xxoo
